Sorry We're Closed

Biblically Accurate Lesbian Relationship

So normally for survival horror games, I do a pro/neutral/con points for the review. I still plan to include that for this one, but frankly "Sorry, We're Closed" was weird and cool enough that I wanted to just write about how I felt about it first. You can see those feelings below the pro/neutral/con list. Pros of Sorry, We're Closed: - Fatal Frame-esque first person shooting sections paired with fixed camera angles and tank controls - Colorful and bright art style that balances itself with ugly and nasty environmental work, creating a beautifully surreal mix of styles - Story choices that lead to 4 possible endings (more writing on that below) - A plot revolving around queer romance and flawed relationships that is very compelling - Fun ranking system at the end of each core level that promotes improvement and replayability - Static item placement, meaning that you won't be able to skirt by on bad play just because the game keeps you constantly stocked up - Robust accessibility settings that allow you to curate your gameplay experience Completely Neutral Points: - There's a bit of a difficulty gap between normal and hard, which makes normal a bit too easy and hard a bit too hard - The four endings are locked in a little over halfway through the game, meaning that you have to replay the majority of the game to see more than one or two endings - The game is quite short. My first complete playthrough took about 9 hours, but bear in mind I have a serial habit of leaving games open while I cook and clean. Actual playtime was closer to 6 or 7 hours, with a little bit of replaying here and there Cons of Sorry, We're Closed: - Some of the audio used for dialogue lines are a bit repetitive, and one NPC in particular is more grating than it should be, Sorry, Chef Armando, you're just a bit much - You can't skip cutscenes or dialogue very easily, which is a hassle for replays - Fairly simple and often linear map navigation expanded thoughts below MECHANICS: "Sorry, We're Closed" is a colorful and bright survival horror game that uses first person for shooting, akin to Fatal Frame. It's big interesting twist is that you have a short range AOE surrounding yourself that affects how you can attack enemies, revealing weak points for them that you have to hit. If you miss the weak point, you don't do damage. While this zone is up, if you fire at an enemy outside of the zone, your bullets dissipate. Enemies have a chain system, where when you hit one weak point, another weak point will pop up after until the enemy is dead. You can combo those weak points to keep the enemy in a stunned state, and to charge up a OHKO move that instakills all smaller enemies and is central to most of the boss. If you attack an enemy without this zone, the game feels more typical: hit the head and deal a bit more damage, but really you can shoot wherever. It's survival horror, though, so ammo is sparse if you don't play smart enough. Playing smart (hitting weak points), the ammo economy is honestly fairly generous, and I didn't find myself running out of ammo very often. I consider this a pro more than a con, because the combo system works best on the pistol and shotgun, and horribly on the melee weapon. Having enough ammo to engage with the weak point system at all times matters more to me than the balance. Health, on the other hand, can be much stricter, and gives you that survival horror feeling. The game's systems are interesting and compelling in a way that made me want to start up another run immediately after beating my first, just to chase those elusive 6 star level ranks. Once you know all of the patterns to everything, it's less about surviving and more about dominating. This game lets you play without tank controls, but let's be real honest with each other. Why would you ever want to play a game with a fixed camera angle but not tank controls? What are you, some kind of sicko? Some kind of societal deviant? You want fixed camera angles and no tank controls? You don't like tank controls at all? You will not survive the winter. Tank controls should be on by default in my opinion, and players should be forced to turn them off. There are a variety of accessibility settings as well, such as an infinite healing item, strong aim assist, and being able to adjust the difficulty whenever you please. STORY (and interaction with it): This game has an honestly rather impactful story about queer romance. Your character is still coming off the sore spot of a 3 year old lesbian breakup, when a new nonbinary demon enters her life, desperate for her to fall in love with them. While you figure out what you want to do with that relationship, you're constantly asked what you should do about other people's relationships. Do you let them last? Do you step in and reveal the lies one person has told their partner for years? Do you attempt to patch up a centuries old abusive romance? What are you willing to do for a mere *chance* to get your ex back? Could you stomach falling in love with that demon yourself? This theme is so embedded into the core of this game that the weakpoint mechanic is literalised as breaking hearts. You are a constant heartbreaker, whether you want to be or not. The love and lives of your friends around you is often questionable and dangerous, let alone your own. Do you let them continue anyway? Or would you rather break every heart possible to prevent future hurt? I'm going to be thinking about these characters and the way they treat each other for a while. The story leaves its impact with an audience that understands.

Not a single cishet hand touched the development of this game.

"I can fix Them" : The Game Demonic (British) happenings have befallen Pronoun Alley! Vanquish the Duchess' corrupted would-be suitors for a shot at true(?) love with the 7ft tall fallen angel with a chainsaw arm! Tons of gorgeous paintings all over the place, charming queer characters, and even a roach demon in a top hat. I've really enjoyed this game so far, trying to complete each variant ending and step on all the critters hiding in each level. 10/10 would totally recommend; I can fix Them (The Duchess)