Neon White

Buy the game; trust me, you will love it, unless your skill cap is the same as a modern gaming journalist, then you will probably hate it

I first picked Neon White up on Game Pass and played through it fairly quickly in 2024, skipping half of the optional content and not putting too much effort into the ranking or medals, because I just wanted to see what's next and how the story unfolds. I kept mentally going back to the game for a few years, reminiscing about how good playing it felt and how I should have spent more time in it. I finally decided to give it another go in 2026 and see if the experience would be as fun as it was back then. It did not disappoint. Neon White has [i]heavenly[/i] gameplay with satisfying challenges, stylish and distinct visuals, and cheesy (yet somewhat endearing) anime plot. And I like that all of these elements are balanced enough not to overstay their welcome and let you enjoy the actual game and levels without turning it into a slog or grindfest. Getting all the Ace medals felt great and I enjoyed the additional character missions as well. Will definitely do some level rushes after a short break. All in all, extremely fun time.

My, my, what a mess. I guess I got a little carried away. I’m so horny for Violet, why can’t I mess around with her? She walks around with that attitude, that voice, and that stupidly charming personality like she knows exactly what she’s doing. Honestly, I spent half the game wondering whether I was supposed to save Heaven or get myself into trouble with her. Neon White is a really fun game overall, and it’s perfect for killing some time. It’s the kind of game you can keep installed and come back to every now and then for a few quick runs. The controls are easy to pick up, the levels are short enough that you can jump back in without much trouble, and the maps are excellent. Being able to find different routes through them is also really satisfying, especially when you start figuring out faster and more efficient ways to move through each level. The Red Medals alone are enough to give the game some extra replay value. It shouldn’t take more than a few hours to beat every Dev Time and get the Red Medal on everything, but you couldn’t pay me to do that. As I’m writing this, I’m still working through the Hell Rushes, and just thinking about the one for White makes me want to bang my head against the desk. Still, it’s been pretty damn fun. I managed to get a few Red Medals using Book of Life, which makes them much easier and a lot more fun to go for. But... ♥♥♥♥ YOU, GREEN. I GOT A RED MEDAL ON HIM IN THIRD TEMPLE. The story is decent, and I really like the fact that it’s presented as a visual novel. The characters are great too, especially their designs. Green, though? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. That guy is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awesome. Red’s whole thing can get a little tiring after a while, but she’s adorable anyway. My heart belongs to Violet, obviously. Yellow is basically just the bro of the group, and I kind of wish we had gotten to see more of Blue, but there’s really not much to complain about there. I also need to mention that I have a very serious problem with Violet. I need to be honest for a second. At this point, Violet could probably look me dead in the eyes, tell me I’m worthless, and I’d be trying to figure out how to make that sound like a compliment. I’m beyond saving. Kill me, Violet. Kill me... yes... yes... just like this... GAAAHH!? Back to the game. The gameplay is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ great. Everything feels so smooth and fluid, and shooting, moving, and using the different weapons together is incredibly satisfying. The weapons themselves are all fun to use, but Book of Life is easily one of my favorites. It makes some of the harder challenges much more manageable, and using it to go after some of the Red Medals made the whole thing a lot easier and more enjoyable. The hub dialogue is also surprisingly fun. I probably spent more time reading the conversations there than I did actually playing through the campaign. The characters have enough personality that even the smaller interactions are worth checking, and the visual novel format helps make those moments feel like more than just filler between levels. One small thing worth mentioning is that the game can occasionally get stuck for a little while during dialogue or cutscenes and take too long to continue. You can just tap Fast Forward and turn it off almost immediately, and that fixes it without making you miss anything. You can do it after reading the dialogue or even activate it beforehand and turn it off right away. White really should have known when to leave. He could have just gone off to that cabin in the woods with Red before the robbery, but no, he had to stay. Look where that got him. A quiet life in the woods with Red would have been a much better ending for both of them — happy, peaceful, and extremely sexy. And then Red lifts her skirt and I thought, “Oh, we’re actually doing this.” Nope. She pulls out a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rocket launcher. This game is insane. Have I mentioned that Violet is sexier than Red? There’s also Violet’s rather interesting way of asking how someone would want to be murdered. Personally, I think I’d be very happy with something a little more intimate. Have her wrap her arms around me, press the gun against my head, and pull the trigger. God, I’d ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ love that. My bad, Vi is driving me crazy. Neon White is just a damn good time. It has great maps, satisfying movement, fun characters, a story that does its job, and enough extra challenges to keep you coming back long after you’ve finished the main campaign. It’s easy to pick up, easy to put down, and even easier to lose a few hours to when you suddenly decide you want to beat one more level.

machine girl >>>>>>>>>>>>